FlashFiction.Net

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And of course I must say that I did not see every movie of 2009. There were quite a few that I missed and wished I had had the chance to see. Up in the Air, Nine, 9 (did we really need two movies named for the same number anyway?), A Serious Man. Just to name a few. But I still saw quite a lot of movies regardless, even if 35 is one the shorter list for me. So let’s begin.

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The Top Ten

10. Princess and the Frog

I do not claim to be an expert in children’s movies by any stretch of the imagination—and most of us writing for or reading this blog can stretch that imagination quite far—but what I can tell you is that Princess and the Frog was a great film. The music was fun, the characters unique—I absolutely loved the villain (and Keith David as awesome voicing him). And it wasn’t CGI. I can’t remember the last time a good animated movie came out that wasn’t CGI, but Princess and the Frog proves it is not a dead art form.

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9. The Hangover

Funniest film of the year—hell, maybe even the whole damn decade. I mean, it had Mike Tyson singing Something in the Air Tonight. Mike Tyson singing! If that’s not reason enough to be considered one of the best movies of the year, then I have no faith in movies anymore. But come on: random babies, tigers, drug dealers, and a kickass soundtrack. Yeah, much love for the drunken debauchery that took place in this film.

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8. District 9

This movie, along with another coming up on the list, did things for science fiction films that haven’t been done since Blade Runner. It was original on levels not encountered in a while, and though the “documentary” style being used in the film faltered in some places, it was done well enough for most people not to notice (but really, was there a cameraman in the alien spaceship while it left Earth for three years?). Peter Jackson knew what he was doing in producing this movie.  

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7. The Soloist

I’ll save my praise of the Downey for later and just comment on what a beautiful film this was. Sure, it was about mental illness and redemption and compassion—but it was also largely about music and how it becomes part of us, connects us to others. Completes us. Jamie Fox and Robert Downey Jr. were both phenomenal in it, but being that it came out in the spring, it will most likely be shafted come Oscar time.

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6. Avatar

Sure, Avatar’s story might as well have been called Fern Gully: Revenge of the Fern or something like that, but this is a rare movie where the story didn’t matter because of how amazing it was presented—proving that even a subpar story told well can be enough (and my writer friends cringe). But it’s true. Sometimes just the sheer scope and style of a production can enthrall us. The aliens looked amazing, the motion capture laughing at Gollum and turning to the future to say, “Bite me!” Also there is rising star Sam Worthington—one of the saving graces of Terminator: Salvation. If this dude wasn’t Australian, I’d rally him to play Captain America. (oh, Avatar is not only the fastest film to hit 1 billion dollars, but is on its way to beat James Cameron’s other film, Titanic, and might even be the first 2 billion dollar movie. On another note, does James Cameron live in a house made out of just money?).

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5. Moon

The other brilliant Sci-Fi movie. Moon…Moon is 2001: A Space Odyssey. I sat there baffled by this movie. Sam Rockwell is beyond amazing in this and he’s basically the only actor. I don’t remember anyone else appearing, and if someone had, Rockwell's performance is blocking him/her on a subconscious level and that is frickin’ powerful. Okay, Kevin Spacey’s voice work for the computer was awesome too, but he wasn’t physically in the film so it works differently. Another awesome thing about both Moon and District 9—both by first time directors.

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4. Sherlock Holmes

Robert Downey #$*&ing Jr. Last year he made the top ten three times (Iron Man, Tropic Thunder, Charlie Bartlett), so only having two films this year I kind of have to wonder—nothing!—it’s Robert Downey #$*&ing Jr. and he made this list twice with only having two films! How the flying Jr. does he do the things he does? But he wasn’t the only awesome thing in this awesome movie. Jude Law, whom I can never decide if I like or loath is right now on the liking side of things because of his excellent Watson and for having great chemistry with the Downey. Along with Guy Ritchie’s spot on directing and Hans Zimmer’s score, this was a fantastic film.

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3. The Hurt Locker

You know those films that make you feel all warm inside? That’s not Hurt Locker (but it is the next film on the list). Hurt Locker takes war films to a new dark place. Every war needs its film, like Vietnam has Apocalypse Now. The Iraqi War has Hurt Locker. And at the risk of sounding sexist, I have to admit my complete surprise to find out that the movie was directed by a hot chick—I mean woman.  Don’t need to watch the training videos again. Anyway, Kathryn Bigelow did amazing things in this film (that’s what she said—Damn it! Sorry), and it will definitely be a classic down the road.

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2. Up

If you can rate a movie by how much two women (my girlfriend and sister, 20 and 31, respectively) squeal from cute things, then Up would take the crown for best movie to have ever been created in the history of film while edging its way into every other medium just to claim its dominance. But Up was much more that an onslaught of cute things being thrown at you from all angles. It was quite simply a beautiful story about dealing with loss. It also had a talking dog that was frickin’ adorable! (You tell no one I said that!)

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1.Star Trek

Talk about a film that came together perfectly, it’s hard to find much wrong with Star Trek. There are really two things at work here: JJ Abrams and the cast. Abrams’s directing was absolutely wonderful. This is a man who really knows how to handle large casts (his work on Lost proves that alone), but his style is also amazing. He found a way to make light flares relevant. And then the cast—every cast member was chosen perfectly. Zachary Quinto was born to play Spock. And Karl Urban took me completely by surprise by not playing a big action role but still kicking ass. Star Trek deserves the top spot for many reasons. But I only have a paragraph, so just trust me on this.

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The Runner Ups 

The Watchmen. Amazing how a film can be panel for panel to the original book but somehow have a completely different feel.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Best Potter film yet. Okay, maybe not better than Prisoner of Azkaban, but still very good.

Away We Go. Great indie comedy. And that dude from The Office was in it.

Coraline. Could have been the best animated movie of the year, but Up and Princess and the Frog blew it out of the water.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Honestly, not that great of a film, horrible CGI, and a very flawed story. But I always have fun watching it and Live Schreiber’s Sabretooth makes it worth watching alone.

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The Worst 

Inglorious Basterds. This film does not deserve praise. And here is why: The muddled story, the way-to-long vignettes, the out-of-place 70s film references, the fact that it was not actually about the Inglorious Basterds at all, Eli Roth…I could go on. I will say this though: Cristoph Waltz deserves every award he’s up for.

Angels and Demons. The Da Vinci Code was such a horrible film, the powers that be decided that it deserved a sequel. Granted, Angels and Demons was actually not as painful as Da Vinci Code, but it’s still a failed experiment. Ron Howard and Tom Hanks have to accept that Dan Brown books just don’t work as movies.

Year One. Year One should have been Wedding Crashers for the Bible. I mean, if you’re doing a comedy taking shots at the Bible, you might as well go as far as you can with it. Instead, we got a watered down piece of crap.

Taking of Pelham 1 2 3. John Travolta. The movie was mediocre to begin with, but Travolta sank it the rest of the way. All the way. He brought it to depths of suck that you just don’t come back from. He should consider playing more women. He’s good at that.

Knowing. It’s easy to blame the dim-witted story. It’s easy to blame the crappy effects. But it’s always more fun to just remind people that Nicholas Cage is the worst. He and Travolta have indeed fallen very low. Now, Cage has a chance of redeeming himself with this year’s Kick-Ass, but let’s not get our hopes up.

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About the Author

Roman Colombo is an MFA student at Rosemont College and received his bachelor's degree in English-Creative Writing from the University of South Florida in 2008. He tries to write in as many genres as possible but loves prose, stage, and graphic novel the most. He has completed one novella, Trading Saints for Sinners (which can be found in the USF library), a Noir-play, Tampa Burning, and is now working on a military heist novel called Izzy's War as well as three graphic novels. He is exhausted.