FlashFiction.Net

The Pit # 1
Craige Reeves

I circled the pit, nearly blind. I had been blindfolded, but I had loosened it by rubbing it against the wall. The pit is cylindrical, hence—pit. I could not loosen the blindfold because Nemo had cut my arms off. You think I’m kidding? I’m writing this with my mouth. He put pen and paper here to make me squirm. Poor Nemo; John won’t squirm.

He threw down duct tape. Told me to choke myself with it. Get it over with quick. He had knocked me out with ether and then injected me with Novocain; 100c.c.—every four hours. We’ll have no O.D. in my pit.

The big hearted S.O.B. The worst of my suffering, aside from pain, was taping these notes to the rats. Ever hold down a sewer rat with your chin while you diligently tape on the note with your mouth? I’ll never proffer my left hand to be shook as a joke again.

Originally appeared in Craige Reeves’s Flash Fiction (Vantage Press Inc.)

Craige Reeves’ “The Pit #1” (the first of four sections) invites readers into an incredible physical and mental hell. The narrator—John—is maimed and “nearly blind” as well as stuck in a “cylindrical pit” where he is forced to confront himself through handling his own “suffering.” The suppression of the pit, its cylindrical nature, represents the repetitious aspect of the situation. John’s willingness to “write with [his] mouth” as well as his determination to attach help “notes” to filthy “sewer rats” portrays his desire to survive. Although we do not know the exact reasons why John was thrown into the pit, we can relate with his impulse to live. Yet John does not just want to live, he expects to live. The last sentence implies that he believes he will return to his old life, and it also shows how the character uses jokes as a form of coping with this ordeal.

What attracts me to this piece is the characterization, not just of John but also of Nemo. Although we never actually see him, his exploits haunt the page when he administers drugs and severs limbs apathetically. In less than two hundred words, Reeves’ has created two complex characters with real desires and motivations. John must have done something awful to Nemo in order for him to act like this.  John, too, shows some apathy. “Poor Nemo,” the narrator says as if Nemo is the one in the pit. It is interesting that John acts like he is the one in control, and perhaps he is considering he refuses to commit suicide though Nemo urges him to do so. (Yet could John kill himself without arms, anyway? Maybe Nemo is no more than a “S.O.B” like John stated.) And even though John talks of his “suffering”, he appears to avoid the subject all together, because “John won’t squirm.” He does not allow anything or anyone defeat him. Whatever the relationship between John and Nemo, the suspense pushes the narrative forward in an incredible way.

This piece draws me to flash fiction because of its inventiveness and ability to delve into both the strength and darker side of human nature in such a brief passage. Although I have read numerous stories where characters are trapped or imprisoned, I have never read one about an armless man seizing rats with his chin as a means to stay alive. Even more interesting is how the character deals with this predicament. Here, John does not die or give up. He goes on, using every possible way to escape while maintaining that “the worst of [the] suffering” is in fact not actually the worst of the suffering.

In addition, this flash story provides its readers with both surprise and suspense: the surprise of the creepy situation and the suspense of what will happen now that we know the sadistic nature of Nemo. Likewise, I appreciate how this piece begins in media res and avoids back story. All the unanswered questions leave me thinking about the story even after it’s over.

About the Author

Benjamin Grossman is an MFA in Creative Writing candidate at Rosemont College. He writes screenplays and novels, as well as poetry and flash fiction. He experiments with mixing different writing genres, but prefers to write fiction. In his free time, Benjamin enjoys listening to music, reading history, running, and watching sports.

       

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