Saturday
Ask the internet about the writing of flash fiction, using Google of course, and you'll rarely not get, as one essential, "Show, Don't Tell." For example:
from "Line Editing in 10 Steps" by Emma Cummingham at Writinghood
Show, don't tell. Instead of Clara telling Bill about her drinking problem, have him find out for himself. Maybe he walks in on her, drunk, three nights in a row. Maybe it's only once, but Clara still feels ashamed and humiliated. This way, Clara has a compelling reason to give up alcohol -- and the reader gets a far more interesting story.
from "Show vs. Tell vs. Nothing" by Robert Swartwood at Everyday Fiction
But the idea is the less you show and tell, the more the reader will feel inclined to step in and fill in the blanks.
from "How to Write a 500 Word Flash Fiction Story" by Hapworth at eHow
Show, don't tell. Edit for unnecessary words. Your words are VERY important so skip the VERY! Write in active voice. Most of all, have fun! And...pick a great title for a great flash fiction story.
from "How To Write Flash Fiction" by Robin Shreeves at howtodothings.com
Flash fiction is powerful because it follows one of writing's biggest rules--"show, don't tell"--very strictly. Limit the adjectives, adverbs and descriptive phrases as much as possible.
"What Is The Definition of Flash Fiction" from WikiAnswers.com
Show, don't tell. Don't tell me how cold-blooded and heartless the assassin is; show me him killing a woman carrying groceries because she was in the way and I'll get the idea.
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Along with this essential is "every word must count." For example:
"What Is Flash Fiction?" by Steve Smith and Kathy Kachelries at 365tomorrows
Flash fiction is fiction with its teeth bared and its claws extended, lithe and muscular with no extra fat. It pounces in the first paragraph, and if those claws aren't embedded in the reader by the start of the second, the story began a paragraph too soon. There is no margin for error. Every word must be essential, and if it isn't essential, it must be eliminated.
Some thoughts.
- If everyone is going around showing and not telling, this idea about writing flash fiction must have some flaws.
- If every word counts, isn't it sometimes better to tell with "midnight" rather than show with "the little hand and the big hand are both on the twelve"? To tell with "angry" rather than show with "red-faced and trembling"?
- There must be a reason why people say "tell a story," not "show a story." Telling must have a place in the story-showing process.
- People confuse telling with over-explaining.
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A final thought is about the desire to rid (short) short fiction of adverbs & adjectives. Not only is this desire part of the rule "every word is essential" (so you must use strong nouns and verbs), but it also results from some sense that adverbs & adjectives are too "telling." This removal of modifiers is part of what makes (short) short fiction esoteric. Spend a day communicating with people using only strong nouns and strong verbs, and my guess is you'll begin to sound very mysterious. Of course, story world is nothing like the real world, and maybe very short fiction is indeed a place for only nouns & verbs (strong ones of course). In their place, the writer is allowed to use similes or metaphors, a device that turns nouns and verbs into adjectives & adverbs, as in "he was as tall as a 6' 3" tree" or "the boat sailed across the lake as a bowling ball wouldn't." (Both found on numerous sites on the internet, allegedly from actual student writing).
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So, by interviewing the internet, I've learned that the rule "show, don't tell" doesn't quite work as an all-encompassing rule. There must be some times when we should "tell, don't show." Yes?
From GC SMITH
August 8, 2009 at 8:48 pm
I’ll tell it like it is, that’ll show you.
From Alicia Gifford
August 8, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Some things you show, some things you tell, knowing when to do what is the art of it.
From Randall Brown
August 8, 2009 at 10:28 pm
But is there any time, Stefanie, when “the moon is shining” is better than “the glint of light on the broken glass”? That’s what I’m trying to figure out.
From Randall Brown
August 8, 2009 at 10:29 pm
You keep tellin’ it like it is, GC!
From Randall Brown
August 8, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Yes, Alicia. Knowing what to do and what not to do with rules is where the art occurs. Any ideas?
From Orgrease
August 9, 2009 at 8:15 am
I often think of this tell-show in metaphor of a carbon-arc lamp in that words are the carbon points and the desire of the reader to read is the driving energy. As writer you can hope your points are arranged such that the reader easily jumps across them and there is amazingly brilliant hot burning light. You can adjust the gap to varying distances and different intensities of understanding are produced. You can also set up such a random pattern of words that very few readers are enlightened but simply blinded by the light.
From Randall Brown
August 9, 2009 at 8:47 am
I love that final though here, Orgrease, that danger of not enlightening but blinding. And also Reader is a hard person to figure out.
From martin heavisides
August 9, 2009 at 10:24 am
What can I tell you?
The only real problem with telling as opposed to showing is that it can make you lazy. I recollect a writer describing a class he taught where he tried and failed to get a student to elaborate the remark “He was obviously drunk.” The trouble with the sentence is that people are often obviously drunk when they are not. I thought a panhandler in his teens I met once was drunk from the way he was shaking, until he told me he’d had a nail driven into his skull by his mother some years back and ever since had been subject to perpetual shakes.
In simplistic political writing people will always lead with ‘tells’: a political commentator fixes a quoted remark for readers by referring to the quotee as ‘leftist’, ‘rightist’, whatever, which always annoys me: I feel my judgment is being suborned.
From Ben White
August 9, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Like with the passive voice, all things are good in moderation. I agree you with Randall–a writer needs to tell. What ‘showing’ should really mean is that there are times when sensory details and oblique descriptions can do a better, fuller job.
In flash, the crux is energy. And for energy, you need progress. All showing and the reader can drown in literary devices, barely finding the energy to stumble to the end.
From Randall Brown
August 9, 2009 at 8:41 pm
Well said, Martin, and as you explain, there is a reason why “show, don’t tell” has become the ubiquitous writing rule for writers of (short) short fiction. I think part of what gets shown and what gets told has to do with the POV and the “psychic distance.” For example, in Joyce’s “Araby,” here’s how Joyce shows us that the narrator’s uncle is drunk: “At nine o’clock I heard my uncle’s latchkey in the hall door. I heard him talking to himself and heard the hallstand rocking when it had received the weight of his overcoat. I could interpret these signs. When he was midway through his dinner I asked him to give me the money to go to the bazaar. He had forgotten.” It would feel strange for the boy, the narrator, to explain these signs; it would create an awareness of reader and destroy that sense Joyce wants of us being the boy’s consciousness.
From Randall Brown
August 9, 2009 at 8:46 pm
That kind of rule makes sense to me, Ben: “Don’t tell when it would be better to show.” I’d love to see a list of examples when telling is better than showing. Maybe I’ll start looking for examples in my future reading. By the way, I like a lot what you are doing with Twitter fiction at Nanoism.
From Ben White
August 10, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Thank you, Randall–much appreciated. Needless to say, I might be considered something of an SLQ fanboy.
Your post got me thinking about broad prescriptions for writing and how inevitably, as with all universals, they never seem to ring true. Perhaps what “show don’t tell” (and “use the active voice” “no adverbs” etc) is most useful for is focusing a naive writer’s first impulses to tell his/her story. After all, writing on the page isn’t the same as telling your friend over coffee. As writers used to learn from copying other writers, it’s good to understand that you *can* show things in the first place. As with grammar–only when you know the rules can you break them. But break them you must (because who doesn’t want to start a new sentence with a conjunction).
I’m intrigued. I’m going to keep an eye out for some brilliantly told passages. I can think of several scenarios (especially concerning voice, perspective, and pacing) but few examples off the top of my head.
From Randall Brown
August 11, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Thanks, Ben, for the nice words about SLQ. Dave Clapper does a great job with it. I think consciously breaking the rules (as a rebellion) works better than doing it innocently.