Saturday
This piece appeared here as part of Monkeybicycle's "One Sentence Stories" series:
Borders
All I know about the Borders--the grandmother, the father, mother, Ellie the oldest, Josh and Jack the twins, and Evelyn, the baby--is that one after another they shared their bathwater.
I thought I'd interview my family about this piece.
º
Hey, Dad. So did you read the piece I sent you?
Yes.
And?
I said I read it.
º
Gotcha. Okay, Mom. Why do you think I titled it "Borders"?
Why don't you write something like that Patterson fellow? You could even get someone to write it for you. Just come up with an idea.
Focus, Mom. "Borders." Why "Borders"?
Or Turow. He wrote it all on the subway. You could do that.
Or Turow. He wrote it all on the subway. You could do that.
º
Aunt Lillian. You were an English teacher. How would you describe this sentence, the way its syntax supports its meaning? Or does it not support its meaning?
It's long.
What is?
For a sentence. And I don't care for dashes.
For a sentence. And I don't care for dashes.
Not ever?
Loathe them.
Loathe them.
º
Uncle Harvey. You've always liked a good bath. When you read this story, then close your eyes, what do you see?
These breasts, like scoops of rice, at that Thai restaurant on 3rd street. Hard red nipples, like your aunt's used to get...well, you should've seen us...and the bath doesn't have bubbles, more like sea foam...
Sea foam? I don't see foam.
A mermaid. That's what it must be. This flipper...
º
Hey, Chloe (she's ten). What do you think of this story?
It's weird.
Do you like it?
Not really.
Why not?
I don't know. It's gross. Drinking bathwater.
Maybe they aren't drinking it.
Then it's just stupid.
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If you have any great "family" moments, it would be great to hear them as comments on the post. Could be quite funny, a listing of them all.
From Sarah Black
August 29, 2009 at 10:23 am
From my father:
1) Why don’t you write stories that people would like to read?
2) If you ever want to sell books, maybe you will have to stop writing what you want to write, and write stories people like.
From my mother:
1) Why do you have to use the bad words? You don’t talk like that, do you? Why use bastards when you could use rascals?
2) You could write a romance if you tried. You used to read them all the time. Or a nice children’s book.
From Randall Brown
August 29, 2009 at 11:44 am
All great, Sarah. I particularly like the idea of writing “stories that people would like to read.” I might have to take your father up on that advice.
From donna d. vitucci
August 29, 2009 at 10:36 am
from my son, mark, every time i tell him i’ve had a success or a publication–and he’s 25 & has been saying this to me ever since that movie came out:
“mama, show me the money.”
From Randall Brown
August 29, 2009 at 11:45 am
Think how things might change if there were MONEY to be shown.
From Nancy Corbett
August 29, 2009 at 10:56 am
Dad:
“Don’t get your hopes up. Pro’bly no one’s ever going to want to print it.”
Mom:
…um hm…
Someone I dated for a few years:
“Er, thank you for sharing.”
A co-worker about online flash ezines:
“Who knew there were so many wannabe writers!”
Wonder why I’m mostly a closet writer.
From Randall Brown
August 29, 2009 at 11:47 am
I love these, Nancy, especially that “don’t get your hopes up.” Funny and poignant.
From Katrina Denza
August 29, 2009 at 11:01 am
All so funny. I think Sarah’s made me laugh the most: you rascal!
From Michelle Reale
August 29, 2009 at 12:40 pm
My family doesn’t read what I write, because they don’t really show an interest so I don’t show them anymore. My co-workers, will comment on the most minuscule things on my Facebook page, but not ever, not even ONCE, has commented on a single link to a story that I’ve posted. Oh right, I just remembered, my mother laughed uproariously at a story I wrote three years ago that was meant to be poignant. She thought she was the main character and said: “Well I am funny, always have been!” Good Lord.
From Hobie
August 29, 2009 at 7:25 pm
“You don’t know how to write stuff like that”
“I showed this to my friend and she liked it.”
and
“I don’t think I’d ever watch a movie like that.”
From Mary Akers
August 29, 2009 at 8:15 pm
“Wouldn’t it be great if you could get on Oprah?”