Monday
[Editor's Note: FlashFiction.Net will be publishing tips from Tasha Cotter, one every Monday, for twenty weeks: 1, 2, 3.]
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My goal for this series of blog posts is for writers to save themselves a lot of time and frustration. This series is meant to get you on the path toward publication, provided you put in the work of writing and revising. Don't worry if you don't follow all these recommendations--who could? I'll be the first to admit that even I'm guilty of sometimes not using my time wisely--look for my tip on social media! But overall this series contains hard-won truths on how to make writing a bigger part of your life. I hope it clarifies the publishing guidelines, professional etiquette, and protocols you may have been unsure about in the past. More than anything, I hope it puts you on track toward opportunities you may not have imagined.
—Tasha
Twitter: @TashCotter
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Tip #4
Work to Find Balance
I used to be terrible at balancing my life. In some ways I still feel like I am. But I'm getting better. I'm better at keeping in touch with people, better at reaching out when I need help, better at making time to go running or go on a long walk just to clear my head. I firmly believe that in order not to burn out, lose your mind, and run out of steam altogether, you need to make time for other people, for exercise, reading, and relaxing. I say this because if you're anything like me, writing has the tendency to consume you.
My instinct is something of a hard-working hermit: A perfect day is one spent inside reading, writing, and drinking lots of tea. But that kind of dedication (obsession?) is in some ways unhealthy: everything else that goes into creating a fulfilling life gets cut short. For me, relationships tend to get caught in the cross-hairs. I can be distant, aloof, and generally not present when I should be. Even if I seem to be listening to you, my mind can be a million miles away. And I have the tendency to resent what takes me away from writing projects--and this is something I am always working to correct. I've lost friends and cut short acquaintances just because I couldn't be bothered to be a friend. I'm not proud of that side of me.
Time has taught me to temper my obsessive nature. Time has also helped me slow down and not feel that dire urgency to constantly be working or thinking about work (and by work, I mean writing-related everything). I've come to value my close relationships more because I've seen how important and rare they are. In life, when things go right--and especially when they go wrong--there's that instinctive desire to share those moments with other people. Even if you find yourself in an enviable situation, what good is that if there's no one to share it with?
Shifting my attitude has made me feel a lot less anxious about writing and publishing. Having some perspective also helps. It's easy to have an almost feverish intensity about writing--there's nothing wrong with that. But writing also requires focus, discipline, and clarity. Spending time with my husband, talking with my mom on the phone, and making time for hiking or yoga helps me manage my time and work smarter. Of course, these experiences also enrich my life and constantly give me ideas to think about and a fresh take on life. I don't walk around feeling like I'm trapped under a thunder-cloud quite so much.
In other words, I'd argue that staying emotionally and mentally balanced can help you conceive of and complete something rather monumental--like a novel.
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Tasha Cotter, @TashCotter, is a poet and fiction writer based in Lexington, Kentucky. She is the author of two chapbooks of poetry and the full-length collection, Some Churches (Gold Wake Press, 2013). You can find her online at www.tashacotter.com.
